Czeching out Prague

If you’re a regular reader (I love you) then you may or may not remember from Zurich I’d planned to go to Liechtenstein, then onward to Austria, the Czech Republic and then finally Poland, thus crossing off a number of countries from available countries in the world to visit.

This was a bit naive though, partly in that I wanted to do all that in about 2 weeks but mainly that for whatever reason all the hostels I could find were way too expensive or had no vacancies. I’m not sure if people were travelling for Christmas markets but Munich, Innsbruck, Vienna, Salzburg, Vaduz, Konstanz — all booked up. In desperation I even looked at diverting briefly into France, but figured that was a bad plan as however you look at it that’s almost exactly the wrong direction to be heading if you’re in Switzerland and would like to end up in Poland.

So I said the hell with it and booked a hostel and bus to Prague. At least it had the virtue of being in the right direction and if I wanted to later on I could always divert to Austria. I wasn’t really sure what I’d do in Liechtenstein anyway and I doubted being able to tell people I’d been would make me the darling of many dinner parties.

I doubt whoever designed Zurich’s bus station would be invited to many dinner parties. It was strangely unorganised; I’d expected the Swiss to do things like public transport in a clearer fashion but here there were just a lot of buses and you had to figure out for yourself which was yours. Even Rome’s bus station had an information screen to tell you where to go and when the Romans are doing public transport better than you, you know things are bad.

It was a very long bus ride, a little over 11 hours and it wasn’t overnight so I couldn’t pass the time sleeping. This turned out to be OK though, as the stunning scenery of Switzerland and Austria made up for it. Everywhere you looked there were snow-covered valleys and hills. The snow did get a bit much when we were passing through Germany, but our bus driver sounded like Arnold Schwarzenegger so I was confident we’d make it, or at least experience a lot of explosions trying to.

I was a little nervous about how my hostel would be. As it was a last-minute booking I wasn’t expecting great things — the photos and reviews were good, but after a while you start to take these things with a modicum of cynicism and just go with what’s cheap and well located, but as I got closer I kept thinking about how nice it would be to lie down in a nice bed and how I’d probably get another smelly one.

Well, I needn’t have worried. It was fantastic, easily the best hostel of the trip and better than quite a lot of hotels I’ve been in. It was called Sophie’s Hostel, and because it was so nice I’ve even linked to their site. The room was so spacious and clean and after 11 hours on a bus I felt like giving my bunk a giant hug of gratitude. It was probably too soon to have the hostel know me as that weird British guy, so I decided not to. But if you’re in Prague and need a cheap but nice hostel, go there!

I took the free walking tour which left from the hostel reception. I should have known better and just gone straight to the start. When you do these tours and they pick you up from the hostel very often yours isn’t the only hostel they offer this service too, so you have to go visit other hostels first. It also means you get to the start quite early and so have to wait around awkwardly. I didn’t have any Czech money on me and couldn’t spot a cash machine and therefore couldn’t get a coffee as everyone else did. It was quite an early pick-up time too, so I could have had more of my buffet breakfast and just gone to meet them there. Oh well! I’ll know for next time.

I was appeased somewhat though by an German girl who, on learning I was English said “ah, that is why you are not wearing many clothes”. I felt very macho and I tried to do the British stiff upper lip thing of “oh, it’s not so bad really, bit bracing!”. Of course, in reality I was bloody freezing, the weather being reminiscent of school lessons where blocks of ice disguised as footballs or rugby balls get thrown at you.

I’m afraid during the tour Anglo-Spanish relations took a bit of a hit too. We had a 10 minute break in which to defreeze and to give the guide the chance to sell us other tours, and just before we set off again a group of Spanish girls appeared with McDonald’s bags. I didn’t know there was one nearby and they had Chicken McNuggets. I was cold and hungry and wanted nuggets and here they were scoffing them in front of me. I was very cross and kept pointedly glaring at the boxes. I think they understood and were, in their own way, sorry but it will be some time before I forgive them.

Diplomatic nightmares aside, the tour itself was really quite good. It went on for about 4 hours and took in the Wenceslas Square, the Jewish Quarter, the Old Town Square, Charles University and lots more. The guide did a really good job and I felt awful that I had no cash to give him. Nick, if you’re reading this — it was a good tour, I just had no money. I thought I’d be able to get some on the way but I didn’t see any. I resolve to make up for my bad karma by tipping more on any more walking tours I take.

I also went to the Museum of Communism. This was great, it was a museum of the rise and fall of communism in Prague. I’d previously not had much of an idea about how communism worked in what was Czechoslovakia, so it was really interesting to learn about how it all happened. There was a short film which showed the riots of the Velvet Revolution which was the transition of power from Communism. It’s all very well to read about but when you see the VHS quality footage it makes it very clear that it actually happened, and really not so very long ago.

My ticket also came with a free coffee voucher which was very much appreciated. I got a good chuckle from the gift shop too, which had some amazingly tacky but brilliant things to buy. My favourites were the candles of the heads of either Lenin or Stalin. Can you imagine using them? Perhaps a nice, romantic Communist dinner for two: “Now, my dear, how have you helped the workers throw off the chains of oppression today?”

Prague is a good city to amble through. You can wander around and seemingly never take the same street twice which is great for exploring. It is somewhat frustrating when you’re trying to get somewhere though. I was wanting to get to a toyshop to watch an episode of Krtek, a cartoon about a mole that our underpaid tour guide told us about but I couldn’t seem to find my way back. I was wandering for about an hour and was starting to get a bit worried and cold, but luckily I found my way.

The castle was great too, but huge. Our guide said to see everything there would take about a day and a half, which would be three quarters of my total time there so sadly I didn’t do it justice.

My biggest problem, with Prague at least, was the cold. I can imagine it’d be such a nice place in spring or autumn, but mid-December is very cold and if you have to travel across town to get to places plan for it to take a bit longer to get there as you dive into coffee shops to warm up. There’s probably a balance to be struck in that I can imagine it’s not so good when it’s full of tourists. Apparently last year there were 10 million visitors to Prague, which is about the population of the entire Czech Republic, so it might get a bit crowded.

Taxi drivers seem to be a bit of a problem too — almost everyone gave advice to not take taxis, and to use the metro or even get an Uber instead as apparently the prices they charge are way too much.

I did kind of screw up here really. I could have easily done with another couple of days, but time was pressing on and I had to move on. It’s definitely a place I’ll come back to, preferably when it’s warmer and with a bit more time! Written on December 13th, 2017 by David Seddon